The Truth: Long Distance Relationships (LDR)

   I'm sure all of you have heard of long distance relationships. you think they cant work. you think that by letting yourself love someone else in a different state or country that you are ultimatily setting yourself up for heartache. while that might be true for some people (not naming anyone) the truth of that matter is simple. the only way you are going to fail in a LDR is if you believe you are going to fail. you have to trust your partner, and by trusting i dont mean being some psyco-stalker girlfriend who has their head knee deep in everything her boyfriend does, or isnt doing. when you are in a long distance relationship there is a lot more that goes into it becides rapid "phone sex" and voice to voice-only communication. you need to set goals in your relationship for the future. you cant just give up when your boyfriend or girlfriend doesnt call you for a day or two. granted your partnership is based on one of those lovely phone calls that doesnt mean you have to rely on just that one source of communication. see, you dont want to run out of things to talk about because then your LDR no longer is fun and exciting. you get bored and then you start thinking "god i could be having so much fun with other people than sitting here without saying anything" and thats probably a main factor of why people fail at their own relationship. because they dont give it an effort to try to hang on. they give up when the going gets tough.
   ive dont quite a bit of research on LDR's and im going to share with you what i have learned.
 -Did you know that LDR's and relgular relationships have nearly identical levels of relationship satisfaction, trust, intimacy,  and commitment if not more?
 -Did you know that 7 million couples (14 million people) are in a LDR as of right now?
 -THE TOP TEN WAYS to stay sane in you LDR
      -Maintain a satisfying and intimate relationship  (be romantic!)
      -Socialize  (theres no use in being lonely because you get needy and you end up smothering your partner to death)
      -Find a confident  (talk out your relationship problems with a friend and get advice but dont forget to give it too!)
      -Touching  (its not cheating. give people hugs and enjoy innocent physical interactions with friends)
      -Take control   (dont get depressed or start having anxiety attacks. you can do this. be in control of your emotions)
      -POSTIVE thinking!  (i cant stress that enough! if you think negitivly you will fail.)
      -View the separation as temporary (nothing is permanent)
      -Acknowledge eachothers contributions  (give compliments like "you need to take a day off from taking care of everybody" or "im proud of you for...")
      -Give gifts   (like pictures, t-shirts, basically anything that they can be reminded of you by)
      -Sex   (dont cheat! but study your skills while appart, learn new things to do together in the bedroom, studys show that having an intimate sex life with your partner will strenghten your relationship)

       i hope you all have learned something and feel more comfident about your LDR! keep up the good work and dont give up. there is still hope. just give it time. thank you and goodbye for now.

                       yours truely,
                             Shianne.

: Damnsels in DIstress (for the ladies)

    now i know I'm not the only one that's ever thought of a good looking guy coming to my rescue. its nice to think that there's someone out there who would save us in a moments whelm. but the fact of the make believe reality always crushes the dreams of our poor little fairytale believing hearts.
  we all want that white night. that classical man who saves us from all our worries. i know that if i ever had a man like that i wouldn't let him go. just imagine what he would look like....  for me i'd think of a tall, muscular, shaggy dark haired Italian bad boy. Sadly ill probably never find that. i wouldn't mind of some guy would come along and sweep me of my feet either.
  what i'm trying to say is that even though we all want that guy the facts are that we will probably never find him.

we as women need to be independent upon ourselves. we need to save ourselves from the danger that hides just around the corner. some of us have already done that. they have made a name for themselves. but think about it.... Don't they seem confident? happy? content? ...well they're not on the inside. most of them probably just want to break free and go wild. jump on tables and act like the free spirits we see in moves and on T.V.  but their professional lives have taken over them and now they are caged animals. just look at Hilary Clinton. shes nice, sophisticated, in control... but whats she like on the inside? you cant tell me that she doesn't wanna speak up about her own opinions and take charge. shes a woman that's about to lash out at her political alleys and show everyone whats shes made of. i cant wait till it happens. shes the type of woman that others would follow. i know i'd be one of them.

   we as women need to take control of ourselves.  we need to find what we like or love and get to doing it. we need to stop letting men and women cloud our thoughts with failures and just take all the gold and run! if we don't, who are we then? we are less then human, less then each other, and less of a female role model for our generations to come. set an example and stop being a Damsel in distress.

:THE CHeater

what is a cheater? well the cheater themselves defines a cheater as someone that gets caught in the act of cheating. my definition? a cheater is anyone that has sex, flirts, kisses on the lips, or thinks about doing any of that with someone that is not your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, etc. its WRONG. and as a person who was just cheated on 6 times with 6 girls i sincerely have to say that it sucks.

   so whats a boy/girl to do? Ive decided that's its better to just move on. yea, be pissed off. be angry. but are you truly going to let it rule your life? are you going to let yourself be depressed and sleep all day because you were hurt? i started to do that but after a while i just got tired of feeling bad for myself. its not like my life was going anywhere good. i was consciously killing my own potential. then i started to think to myself... if i really wanted revenge for the wrong doing he had done, what better way to do it than just be happy, get over it, and move on? he wanted me to me upset, he wanted me to be angry and kick things. so why should i give him what he wanted? why give him anymore of myself then i already had?
but wait, let me roll back a paragraph and let me tell you how i found out about his 6 affairs.
......
     once upon a time.... scratch that, once upon my reality. Ive known him for years. i seriously thought that i knew him. we decided to date about 2 and a half months ago. it was bliss. i instantly feel in love, or well, what i thought was love. we jumped into it. i was happy. i thought that he was the one. he sure as hell made me feel like he was. even when i told him i was afraid that id get hurt he said the most perfect thing ever. ''we will work on your fears one step at a time'' is that what every girl/boy wants to hear? well i know its what i wanted to hear. so i trusted him. i opened myself up and decided that if i really wanted this to work i had to give all of myself. i had to let my emotions run my relationship. so i did. then these little things started happening like little holes that were ripping apart my ''love''. a thought he was living a secret life because of this Facebook account in another name that had all his info on it and even a picture of himself as the front picture. he tried saying that he had a friend that liked to steal his idenity. so i let it go. but before i realized it this ''friend'' was popping up in every argument we had. he was always blaming this person for his actions....
  he started flirting with my 2 best friends...i started getting forwarded perverted messages that weren't just for me but for this other girl....he asked me if i would let him ''fake'' date this other girl i completely hated just to hurt her...but i let it all go. because i thought i ''loved'' him. then this one thing happened that changed it all. he was commenting on Facebook with such girl, and was saying how much he loved her and wanted to be with her. how he was ''waiting'' for her and didn't give a crap about me. the person to tell me this is my current boyfriend. of course after seeing this is fresh and blood, i asked him what was going on. he blamed it on his friend, lets call him joey. i wasnt going for it this time. i made him change this passward and he gave me his new one, trying to prove he was innocent in what was said.
  but i was smarter than that.
i admit. i went into this Facebook messages and read all of the messages from the moment we started dating up till the present date. 5 girls counting my 2 friends he cheated with. i found out the 6th by going onto one of his SEVEN other Facebook profiles. as if one wasn't enough to cheat on me with he had 7 accounts. i broke up with him. and he tried to guilt trip me. ''I'm going to kill myself if i cant have you. i love you. your my baby girl. ill be a better boyfriend i promise. please just give me another chance'' i never listened to him and needless to say hes not dead.

the moral to my story? move on, pick yourself up. its possible. its not the end. give yourself another life. he/she is not worth it. don't give them more of yourself then you already have. thats what they want. give them the only thing they deserve.
give them the TRUTH, never satisfy them with a LIE.

: Love

What is love? We expect it to be just a feeling. We believe that love is the magical cure for all our problems. Everyone wants it but few possess it. So what can we expect from this emotion but heart break? That connection. That one moment when the world stops and u think they might be the one. But then u stop and say to yourself? *What am i doing? How can i expect this to work when i don't even know how to love again?" That was me. I was afraid to love. Now i feel that if i don't embrace love i might just lose my chance at true happiness. That happily ever after all girls dream about. We need to make sure its true. That love isn't going to come back and bite us in the royal ass! Its scary i know. Trust me. But if I'm going to embrace love I'm going in blindly. Somehow love seems more exciting and eventful that way. Don't give up on it. Don't give it away. Grab onto it and hope that u brought some superglue and put it in your hand before u reach out and take whats yours. Don't let it go.

: high school relationships

hi,

        As we all know adolescents have this thing with falling in love over and over again. they get hurt and cry and get pissed off. they think ''love'' is the only thing that can save them and without it they are nothing. i was one of those teenagers. i still am at heart. love is what has kept me going all these years. so let me tell you why we young adults rely on love so heavily in our generation.
        love seems like an endless void. we think about love constantly. to us its just another escape. and we ant to escape. we want to be left alone. we don't want to have to deal with anything else but ourselves and the people we build relationships over the years with. our friends are what hold us together. their someone to hang onto. sort of like an anchor. when we get boyfriends or girlfriends its like we are the center of the world. like only us and that other person are the only two people in existence. but then the heart break comes. you cant protect your child from it. it happens to everyone. we fall into what we think is love when really its lust.
       when we get heart broken leave it alone. we don't want to be bothered. and if you want to give us advice don't give us bullshit answers.
  the truth is. . . and everyone needs to get this
relationship dont last forever. in high school everyone wants to think it will but in reality most of them dont. its sad but true.

thanks for reading

: health care

hello again,

        as you all know my name is shianne. id just like to say welcome. here your opinion can be freely spoken. wither you wanna voice that opinion on politics or how horrible your high school prom went, your welcome to speak about it. ill be posting discussions on various topics. theres a lot to talk about, a lot to fight over and i want to get my views on these topics out in the open. first and foremost id like to share on one of the subjects all of us probably know just a little something about.
       health care.
   now we all know that thats one of the biggest topics in our society today. some favor that the country shouldnt be paying for people to get the things that they need. others believe that without that money there is simply no other way for them to survive. well, their both in the wrong. health care should be provided to anyone. not just the disabled but to the hard working american men and women also. there should be restrictions on it though. if your sick and you need to go to the hospital, its your choice to go in the first place. those people are working hard to make sure your okay and going in over a simple cold shouldnt be covered under health care. you should have to pay for it out of your pocket not the tax payers wallet. its a cold its not like you have a deathly flu that your going to die of within the next six months. or another example: you get into a car accident and you total your car. if it was your fault that you got into that accident you should be paying for the damage to your car, and possibility the other persons damage too.
     you should have to work hard. life isnt easy. you just cant take the easy route. if you can pay for anything you have caused or something thats minor, then the effect should be that you work it out with that person so that you can pay them back personally. mabye the way you pay them back is by walking their dog or washing their car. either way the job gets done. people need to quit with their embarrassment towards asking people for things. we all live on the same planet so why dont we act like it and stop being shy.
    im tired of watching poverty plague our nation. someone needs to stand up and literally fight for our freedom in anything that us as a One people deem necessary. get up off your ass and fight for what you want. if you dont like pollution, first make sure you yourself arnt polluting before you get up into everyones business and try to change their way of life. health care is also one of those things. if you want it go get a worthy job that has it. know when to use your health care. if you need to go to the dentist for a check up you need to pay for it. now if you need to go to get a cap on your front 2 teeth because their shattered or if you need a root canal in 3 different places thats a little more understandable.those things tend to be a little expensive and you might need help in paying for a little if not all of it.
    theres a cause and effect here. if you cause something the effect should be in your hands too.
    if you didnt cause something and it was out of your hands? you get help.
in doing this you take care of not only yourself but the people around you.

thank you for listening.

about myself

 Hi,

     my name is shianne. im an individual just like yourself. i have a mind and i have an opinion, but sometimes my opinion doesnt always go with what other people want to hear. sometimes i should really learn when to shut my mouth. im not like that though. im not afraid to get in trouble or stand up for what i believe in. when i have my mind set on something i want, i know how im gonna get it and ill be damned if i dont.
    im a writer. i write novels that dont just open your imagination into unchartted territory, but i open your hearts into a land that you can feel as if you belong in. im sure that most of you have always wanted to escape. that most of your are either writers or reads. mabye your a drawer and you sketch down the images in your head so that you can imagine yourself inside the picture and not your own surroundings. and thats perfectly okay. everyone needs a place to go when they feel breakible. when they feel like they need shelter they hid under a ''rock'' and pretend like everythings glorious. well news flash. life isnt ''glorious''. its a pain in the ass.
   ive been through a lot in the short years ive lived. my parents were both drug addicts, i was put into fosterhomes. i lived on the streets at some points in my life. ive been to 14 different schools. and ive lost so many friends and family that it would seem that there was no one in the world for me to have or rely on. but i dont regret anything that happened. i wouldnt be who i was now if i didnt go through all of that. im still learning though. i just have to take life one day at a time. even if i cant wait for tomorrow to come....